Book 1

Chapter 3: His Trial and Incarceration

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048.01 Chest Cee! 'Sdense! Corpo di barragio! you spoof of visibility

048.02 in a freakfog, of mixed sex cases among goats, hill cat and plain

048.03 mousey, Bigamy Bob and his old Shanvocht! The Blackfriars

048.04 treacle plaster outrage be liddled! Therewith was released in that

048.05 kingsrick of Humidia a poisoning volume of cloud barrage indeed.

048.06 Yet all they who heard or redelivered are now with that family

048.07 of bards and Vergobretas himself and the crowd of Caraculacticors

048.08 as much no more as be they not yet now or had they then not-

048.09 ever been. Canbe in some future we shall presently here amid

048.10 those zouave players of Inkermann the mime mumming the mick

048.11 and his nick miming their maggies, Hilton St Just (Mr Frank

048.12 Smith), Ivanne Ste Austelle (Mr J. F. Jones), Coleman of Lucan

048.13 taking four parts, a choir of the O'Daley O'Doyles doublesixing

048.14 the chorus in Fenn Mac Call and the Serven Feeries of Loch Neach,

048.15 Galloper Troppler and Hurleyquinn the zitherer of the past with his

048.16 merrymen all, zimzim, zimzim. Of the persins sin this Eyrawyg-

048.17 gla saga (which, thorough readable to int from and, is from tubb

048.18 to buttom all falsetissues, antilibellous and nonactionable and this

048.19 applies to its whole wholume) of poor Osti-Fosti, described as

048.20 quite a musical genius in a small way and the owner of an

048.21 exceedingly niced ear, with tenorist voice to match, not alone,

048.22 but a very major poet of the poorly meritary order (he began

048.23 Tuonisonian but worked his passage up as far as the we-all-

048.24 hang-together Animandovites) no one end is known. If they

 

Skipping some pages to prepare for a reading

 

063.01 ing in a bytheway that he, the crawsopper, had, in edition to

063.02 Reade's cutless centiblade, a loaded Hobson's which left only [[twin

063.03 alternatives]] as, viceversa, either he would surely shoot her, the

063.04 aunt, by pistol, (she could be okaysure of that!) or, failing of such,

063.05 bash in Patch's blank face beyond recognition, pointedly asked

063.06 with gaeilish gall wodkar blizzard's business Thornton had with

063.07 that Kane's fender only to be answered by the aggravated

063.08 assaulted that that that was the snaps for him, Midweeks, to sultry

063.09 well go and find out if he was showery well able. But how trans-

063.10 paringly nontrue, gentlewriter ! His feet one is not a tall man, not

063.11 at all,man. No such parson. No such fender. No such lumber. No

063.12 such race. Was it supposedly in connection with a girls, Myramy

063.13 Huey or Colores Archer, under Flaggy Bridge (for ann there is

063.14 but one liv and hir newbridge is her old) or to explode his

063.15 twelvechamber and force a shrievalty entrance that the heavybuilt

063.16 Abelbody in a butcherblue blouse from One Life One Suit (a

063.17 men's wear store), with a most decisive bottle of single in his

063.18 possession, seized after dark by the town guard at Haveyou-

063.19 caught-emerod's temperance gateway was there in a gate's way.

063.20 Fifthly, how parasoliloquisingly truetoned on his first time of

063.21 hearing the wretch's statement that, muttering Irish, he had had

063.22 had o'gloriously a'lot too much hanguest or hoshoe fine to

063.23 drink in the House of Blazes, the Parrot in Hell, the Orange Tree,

063.24 the Glibt, the Sun, the Holy Lamb and, lapse not leashed, in

063.25 Ramitdown's ship hotel since the morning moment he could

063.26 dixtinguish a white thread from a black till the engine of the laws

063.27 declosed unto Murray and was only falling fillthefluthered

063.28 up against the gatestone pier which, with the cow's bonnet

063.29 a'top o'it, he falsetook for a cattlepillar with purest peaceablest

063.30 intentions. Yet how lamely hobbles the hoy of his then pseudo-

063.31 jocax axplanation how, according to his own story, he was a

063.32 process server and was merely trying to open zozimus a bottlop

063.33 stoub by mortially hammering his magnum bonum (the curter the

063.34 club the sorer the savage) against the bludgey gate for the boots

063.35 about the swan,Maurice Behan, who hastily into his shoes with

063.36 nothing his hald barra tinnteack and came down with homp,

064.01 shtemp and jumphet to the tiltyard from the wastes a'sleep in his

064.02 obi ohny overclothes or choker, attracted by the norse of guns

064.03 playing Delandy is cartager on the raglar rock to Dulyn, said

064.04 war' prised safe in bed as he dreamed that he'd wealthes in mor-

064.05 mon halls when wokenp by a fourth loud snore out of his land

064.06 of byelo while hickstrey's maws was grazing in the moonlight

064.07 by hearing hammering on the pandywhank scale emanating from

064.08 the blind pig and anything like it (oonagh!oonagh!) in the

064.09 whole history of the Mullingcan Inn he never. This battering

064.10 babel allower the door and sideposts, he always said, was not in

064.11 the very remotest like the belzey babble of a bottle of boose

064.12 which would not rouse him out o' slumber deep but reminded

064.13 him loads more of the martiallawsey marses of foreign musi-

064.14 kants' instrumongs or the overthrewer to the third last days of

064.15 Pompery, if anything. And that after this most nooningless

064.16 knockturn the young reine came down desperate and the old

064.17 liffopotamus started ploring all over the plains, as mud as she

064.18 cud be, ruinating all the bouchers' schurts and the backers'

064.19 wischandtugs so that be the chandeleure of the Rejaneyjailey

064.20 they were all night wasching the walters of, the weltering walters

064.21 off. Whyte.

064.22 Just one moment. A pinch in time of the ideal, musketeers!

064.23 Alphos, Burkos and Caramis, leave Astrelea for the astrollajerries

064.24 and for the love of the saunces and the honour of Keavens pike

064.25 puddywhackback to Pamintul. And roll away the reel world, the

064.26 reel world, the reel world! And call all your smokeblushes,

064.27 Snowwhite and Rosered, if you will have the real cream! Now for

064.28 a strawberry frolic ! Filons, filoosh ! Cherchons la flamme! Famm-

064.29 famm! Fammfamm!

064.30 Come on, ordinary man with that large big nonobli head, and

064.31 that blanko berbecked fischial ekksprezzion Machinsky Scapolo-

064.32 polos, Duzinascu or other. Your machelar's mutton leg's getting

064.33 musclebound from being too pulled. Noah Beery weighed stone

064.34 thousand one when Hazel was a hen. Now her fat's falling fast.

064.35 Therefore, chatbags, why not yours? There are 29 sweet reasons

064.36 why blossomtime's the best. Elders fall for green almonds when

065.01 they're raised on bruised stone root ginger though it winters on

065.02 their heads as if auctumned round their waistbands. If you'd had

065.03 pains in your hairs you wouldn't look so orgibald. You'd have

065.04 Colley Macaires on your lump of lead. Now listen, Mr Leer!

065.05 And stow that sweatyfunnyadams Simper! Take an old geeser

065.06 who calls on his skirt. Note his sleek hair, so elegant, tableau

065.07 vivant. He vows her to be his own honeylamb, swears they will

065.08 be papa pals, by Sam, and share good times way down west in a

065.09 guaranteed happy lovenest when May moon she shines and they

065.10 twit twinkle all the night, combing the comet's tail up right and

065.11 shooting popguns at the stars. Creampuffs all to dime! Every

065.12 nice, missymackenzies! For dear old grumpapar, he's gone on

065.13 the razzledar, through gazing and crazing and blazing at the stars.

065.14 Compree! She wants her wardrobe to hear from above by return

065.15 with cash so as she can buy her Peter Robinson trousseau and cut

065.16 a dash with Arty, Bert or possibly Charley Chance (who knows?)

065.17 so tolloll Mr Hunker you're too dada for me to dance (so off she

065.18 goes !) and that's how half the gels in town has got their bottom

065.19 drars while grumpapar he's trying to hitch his braces on to his

065.20 trars. But old grum he's not so clean dippy between sweet you

065.21 and yum (not on your life, boy! not in those trousers! not by a

065.22 large jugful!) for someplace on the sly,where Furphy he isn't by,

065.23 old grum has his gel number two (bravevow, our Grum!) and he

065.24 would like to canoodle her too some part of the time for he is

065.25 downright fond of his number one but O he's fair mashed on

065.26 peaches number two so that if he could only canoodle the two,

065.27 chivee chivoo, all three would feel genuinely happy, it's as simple

065.28 as A. B. C., the two mixers, we mean, with their cherrybum

065.29 chappy (for he is simply shamming dippy) if they all were afloat

065.30 in a dreamlifeboat, hugging two by two in his zoo-doo-you-doo,

065.31 a tofftoff for thee, missymissy for me and howcameyou-e'enso for

065.32 Farber, in his tippy, upindown dippy, tiptoptippy canoodle, can

065.33 you? Finny.

065.34 Ack, ack, ack. With which clap, trap and soddenment, three to

065.35 a loaf, our mutual friends the fender and the bottle at the gate seem

065.36 to be implicitly in the same bateau, so to singen, bearing also

066.01 several of the earmarks of design, for there is in fact no use in

066.02 putting a tooth in a snipery of that sort and the amount of all

066.03 those sort of things which has been going on onceaday in and

066.04 twiceaday out every other nachtistag among all kinds of pro-

066.05 miscious individuals at all ages in private homes and reeboos

066.06 publikiss and allover all and elsewhere throughout secular

066.07 sequence the country over and overabroad has been particularly

066.08 stupendous. To be continued. Federals' Uniteds' Transports'

066.09 Unions' for Exultations' of Triumphants' Ecstasies.

066.10     But resuming inquiries. Will it ever be next morning the postal

066.11 unionist's (officially called carrier's, Letters Scotch, Limited)

066.12 strange fate (Fierceendgiddyex he's hight, d.e., the losel that

066.13 hucks around missivemaids' gummibacks) to hand in a huge

066.14 chain envelope, written in seven divers stages of ink, from blanch-

066.15 essance to lavandaiette, every pothook and pancrook bespaking

066.16 the wisherwife, superscribed and subpencilled by yours A Laugh-

066.17 able Party, with afterwite, S.A.G., to Hyde and Cheek, Eden-

066.18 berry, Dubblenn, WC? Will whatever will be written in lappish

066.19 language with inbursts of Maggyer always seem semposed, black

066.20 looking white and white guarding black, in that siamixed twoa-

066.21 talk used twist stern swift and jolly roger? Will it bright upon us,

066.22 nightle, and we plunging to our plight? Well, it might now, mircle,

066.23 so it light. Always and ever till Cox's wife, twice Mrs Hahn, pokes

066.24 her beak into the matter with Owen K. after her, to see whawa

066.25 smutter after, will this kiribis pouch filled with litterish frag-

066.26 ments lurk dormant in the paunch of that halpbrother of a herm,

066.27 a pillarbox?

066.28     The coffin, a triumph of the illusionist's art, at first blench

066.29 naturally taken for a handharp (it is handwarp to tristinguish

066.30 jubabe from jabule or either from tubote when all three have just

066.31 been invened) had been removed from the hardware premises of

066.32 Oetzmann and Nephew, a noted house of the gonemost west,

066.33 which in the natural course of all things continues to supply

066.34 funeral requisites of every needed description. Why needed,

066.35 though? Indeed needed (wouldn't you feel like rattanfowl if you

066.36 hadn't the oscar!) because the flash brides or bride in their lily

067.01 boleros one games with at the Nivynubies' finery ball and your

067.02 upright grooms that always come right up with you (and by jingo

067.03 when they do!) what else in this mortal world, now ours, when

067.04 meet there night, mid their nackt, me there naket, made their

067.05 nought the hour strikes, would bring them rightcame back in the

067.06 flesh, thumbs down, to their orses and their hashes.

067.07 To proceed. We might leave that nitrience of oxagiants to take

067.08 its free of the air and just analectralyse that very chymerical com-

067.09 bination, the gasbag where the warderworks. And try to pour

067.10 somour heiterscene up thealmostfere. In the bottled heliose case

067.11 continuing, Long Lally Tobkids, the special, sporting a fine breast

067.12 of medals, and a conscientious scripturereader to boot in the brick

067.13 and tin choorch round the coroner, swore like a Norewheezian

067.14 tailliur on the stand before the proper functionary that he was up

067.15 against a right querrshnorrt of a mand in the butcher of the blues

067.16 who, he guntinued, on last epening after delivering some car-

067.17 casses mattonchepps and meatjutes on behalf of Messrs Otto

067.18 Sands and Eastman, Limericked, Victuallers, went and, with his

067.19 unmitigated astonissment, hickicked at the dun and dorass against

067.20 all the runes and, when challenged about the pretended hick (it

067.21 was kickup and down with him) on his solemn by the imputant

067.22 imputed, said simply: I appop pie oath, Phillyps Captain. You

067.23 did, as I sostressed before. You are deepknee in error, sir, Madam

067.24 Tomkins, let me then tell you, replied with a gentlewomanly

067.25 salaam MackPartland, (the meatman's family, and the oldest in

067.26 the world except nick, name.) And Phelps was flayful with his

067.27 peeler. But his phizz fell.

067.28     Now to the obverse. From velveteens to dimities is barely a

067.29 fivefinger span and hence these camelback excesses are thought

067.30 to have been instigated by one or either of the causing causes of

067.31 all, those rushy hollow heroines in their skirtsleeves, be she ma-

067.32 gretta be she the posque. Oh! Oh! Because it is a horrible thing

067.33 to have to say to say to day but one dilalah, Lupita Lorette, short-

067.34 ly after in a fit of the unexpectednesses drank carbolic with all

067.35 her dear placid life before her and paled off while the other

067.36 soiled dove that's her sister-in-love, Luperca Latouche, finding

068.01 one day while dodging chores that she stripped teasily for binocu-

068.02 lar man and that her jambs were jimpjoyed to see each other, the

068.03 nautchy girly soon found her fruitful hat too small for her and

068.04 rapidly taking time,look,she rapidly took to necking, partying

068.05 and selling her spare favours in the haymow or in lumber closets

068.06 or in the greenawn ad huck (there are certain intimacies in all

068.07 ladies' lavastories we just lease to imagination) or in the sweet

068.08 churchyard close itself for a bit of soft coal or an array of thin

068.09 trunks, serving whom in fine that same hot coney a la Zingara

068.10 which our own little Graunya of the chilired cheeks dished up

068.11 to the greatsire of Oscar, that son of a Coole. Houri of the coast

068.12 of emerald, arrah of the lacessive poghue, Aslim-all-Muslim, the

068.13 resigned to her surrender, did not she, come leinster's even, true

068.14 dotter of a dearmud, (her pitch was Forty Steps and his perch old

068.15 Cromwell's Quarters) with so valkirry a licence as sent many a

068.16 poor pucker packing to perdition, again and again, ay, and again

068.17 sfidare him, tease fido, eh tease fido, eh eh tease fido, toos top-

068.18 ples topple, stop, dug of a dog of a dgiaour, ye! Angealousmei!

068.19 And did not he, like Arcoforty, farfar off Bissavolo, missbrand

068.20 her behaveyous with iridescent huecry of down right mean false

068.21 sop lap sick dope? Tawfulsdreck! A reine of the shee, a shebeen

068.22 quean, a queen of pranks. A kingly man, of royal mien, regally

068.23 robed, exalted be his glory! So gave so take: Now not, not now!

068.24 He would just a min. Suffering trumpet! He thought he want.

068.25 Whath? Hear, O hear, living of the land! Hungreb, dead era,

068.26 hark! He hea, eyes ravenous on her lippling lills. He hear her voi

068.27 of day gon by. He hears! Zay, zay, zay! But, by the beer of his

068.28 profit, he cannot answer. Upterputty till rise and shine! Nor needs

068.29 none shaft ne stele from Phenicia or Little Asia to obelise on

068.30 the spout, neither pobalclock neither folksstone, nor sunkenness

068.31 in Tomar's Wood to bewray how erpressgangs score off the rued.

068.32 The mouth that tells not will ever attract the unthinking tongue

068.33 and so long as the obseen draws theirs which hear not so long

068.34 till allearth's dumbnation shall the blind lead the deaf. Tatcho,

068.35 tawney yeeklings! The column of lumps lends the pattrin of the

068.36 leaves behind us. If violence to life, limb and chattels, often as

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